Sitemap - 2025 - Chortle
Our 10 Most Popular Posts of 2025
Letters from the War on Christmas
Recapping the Latest Episode of “Reality”
The Wisdom of Pupfucius, Dog Philosopher
We're Going to Deport Every Foreign Film in the Criterion Closet
It's me, a germ in your kid's mouth
Our Holiday GRIFT Guide Returns!
Christmas Urban Legends Debunked!
22 Fast Facts About Semicolons
My Christmas List of Things That Don't Exist
My Emotional Affair with RFK Jr.
What Holiday Gift Cards for Your Child’s Teacher Say About You
8 Tips for a Bearable Thanksgiving
Introducing Our New Airfare Options
My Son Reviews 'Mickey and the Roadster Racers'
We Are Using AI to Build the Pyramids
We're Deeply Concerned About Sports Gambling (Presented By DraftKings)
26 Words for Incongruous Weather
POLL: What Do Rich Assholes Think of the Economy?
An exclusive interview with the Epstein Files
We Must Support the President’s Right to Summon Eldritch Horrors
Tips to Help You Get Published
Why I'm Returning to the League
How Congress Has Been Spending the Government Shutdown
A Comprehensive List of Great Names for a Wok Restaurant
So You Accidentally Made an Original Movie
Hyundai Safety Warning for Anyone Over 40
Happy Halloween from Santa Claus
Warning Labels From the 'Final Destination' Universe
You Just Got Punk'd, Western Civilization!
Welcome to HBO-Paramount-Disney-Plus-eBay-on-Prime®️
Even More Obvious Metaphors for the Destruction of America
Minutes from the Committee of Random National Holidays
College President: We Need More Guest Speakers We Don’t Need
'Life of a Showgirl' Versions Taylor Swift Hasn’t Released Yet
Our Extreme Horror Experience Can Only Be Entered Through the Mall
Lesser-Known Gravestone Symbols, Explained
Liminal Transit Hall: Do's and Don'ts
It's Me, Your Childhood Trophy
Your Toddler's Travel Packing List
LEAKED: Proposed Trump-Harvard Settlement Terms
My Wife's Bananas Are Too Large
Explaining My 'Parent Trap'-Style Custody Agreement to a First Date
Please Buy Chortle For $150 Million Dollars
Clinical Depression Study Results: Congratulations, You Won!
The U.S. Government Shutdown, Explained (by a Nihilist)
My Kid Has Bubonic Plague, But Is Still Excited for Today’s Playdate!
I've Been Sent from the Future to Stop the Invention of Podcasts
10 Similes to Upgrade Your Vocabulary
Totally Plausible “Secrets” Shared by Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein
Complete This Nearly Impossible Questionnaire To Get Our Bathroom Key
We Apologize to the Following Republicans
Unsolicited Advice for New Pet Owners
10 Hobbies for Adults Who Don't Want to Leave Bed
I Landed a Job Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic
Try CHILDREN: The Ultimate Lifestyle Accessory
The Only Aquarium Map You'll Ever Need
Supreme Court Rules 6-3 in "United States v. Constitutional Norms"
Our Escape Room Is a Little Different
Out of Office: Break From Existence
19 Things I Found In My Shag Rug
Times When Parenthood Actually Is a Contest
Why I Can't Leave My Husband, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
The Realm’s Stupidest Wizard Has Failed
These New Statistics Prove I Don't Suck at Basketball
I Was About to Do the Thing, I Swear
10 Justly Ignored Children's Books
A Message from Pro-Abstinence Mosquitos
Reasons Your Child's Preschool Is Closed
10 Benefits of Taking Karate Classes as an Adult Man
Everyone Please Stop Saying I Suck Shit
A Welcome Guide to Perimenopause
Potatoes Are The New Dinosaurs
If Non-Pharmaceutical Products Listed Side Effects
Five Vacation Destinations to Escape Humanity
My Favorite Hot Dog Toppings, Ranked
It's Me, the Consequences of Your Own Actions
OPINION: Replace Stephen Colbert with Stephen Colbert
Menu for a Drought-Conscious Dinner Party
An Exclusive Interview with Donald Trump's Ankles
The Weather According to My Dog
Things My Lawnmower Does Better than Me
I Thought I Knew How to Not Rob a Bank — I Was Wrong
Our Incredible Technology Is Only Racist Sometimes!
Six Podcasts That Gleefully Celebrate Murder
10 Things I Hope Happen to Stephen Miller
Best Kept Secrets for Living to 100
New, Government-Approved Medical Journals
Bigger and/or More Beautiful Bills
Pre-Approved High School Reunion Questions
For Parents Seeking Financial Compensation
Largemouth Bass Are Destroying America
It's Me, a Microplastic in Your Brain
The Beginner's Guide to the Bible
Seeking Mild to Moderate Car Guy
To Preserve Peace, We Must Blow Up the Earth
Short Story: Revenge of the Secondary Characters
An exclusive interview with a 200-Year Old Condom
Rotten Tomatoes Reviews My Dog (Again)
Am I The Asshole: Toddler Edition
BREAKING: Something Worse Is Happening Tomorrow
The Head of Disorganized Crime Has Been Arrested
Your Sense of Smell Makes You Look Ridiculous
Photos: Los Angeles Migrant INVASION
Welcome Aboard, Please Make Yourself Uncomfortable
The Extraordinary Life of Klaus Gänsefett
Songs My Toddler Loves, Ranked by Unseemliness
More Facts Donald Trump Just Learned
Corrections to Our Previous Coverage
A Hostage Negotiation for my Comedy Career
An Honest Translation Of My Resumé Skills
This Summer's Hottest Puzzle Books
It's us, your child’s favorite shoes
New PBS Lineup for Today’s America
Trending New Social Media Diets
White House Announces Tariff on True Love
The Manly Humanities Man's Guide to Oil Changes
An Itemized Guide To Youth Soccer Fees
The Judge Who Sucked and Fucked
FBI Most Wanted: Trump Edition
The Failed Sequels of Great Inventors
These Pillowcases Should Be Illegal
Chortle's Reluctant Off-Year Endorsements
New Ways to Tear the Country Apart
Shows That Aren't On BritBox, But Should Be
Pope Francis's Final Statement
Coachella for People Approaching 40
Expanded Definitions of Antisemitism
9 Myths About English DEBUNKED
Crooks Reflect: "We've Come A Long Way"
To the Girl Who Said My Eyes Are "A Little Too Close Together"
Talking to a Bank Alarm Like It's My Toddler
Extremely Specific Acknowledgements for My Novel
Chortle's Stock Tips of the Day
Ranking All 7 Subway Restaurants In My Town
Baby's Second Book of Opposites
Watching Exercise Videos Should Count As Exercise
7-Eleven Apologizes for Our April Fool's Posts
PHOTOS: JD Vance Visits Greenland
I've Been Married Four Long, Horrible Years
Seven Planets I’d Rather Live On
Updated White House I.T. Policies
The Rorschach Test presented by Walmart
Classic Children's Books [Revised for 2025]
Death to Corporate Media (Except for Disney's Cars)
Notes on the First Case of March Madness
Coming Soon to the Kennedy Center!
Bearflesh: The Ultimate Coat for Men
MLB Spring Training, By The Numbers
Hey Stock Market, Where's Our Thank You?
It’s Me, a Dinner Your Kid Refuses to Eat
10 Good Points That Aren't Worth Making
I will now roast Elon Musk's haircut
Interview: Ann Friedman on Letters
What Being Abducted By Aliens Taught Me About B2B Sales
Changes to Chortle's DEI policy
What Will Be This Year's Crazy Oscars Moment?
NASA's Asteroid Defense Plan, Revealed
An exclusive interview with the Booger from Trump's Desk
1930s Trends That Deserve a Comeback More Than Literal Nazis
Notice of Filming on Your Street
SNL's 60th Anniversary Episode
DOGE Is Now Hiring Complete Assholes
You're a bad driver (and so am I!)
Weird Dates I Went On So You Don’t Have To
Now That's What I Call Funny: Vol. 8
Welcome to Trump International Gaza Resort
10 Ways Parenting a Toddler is like Being Spider-Man
Forgotten Baseball Nicknames, Explained
The Ultimate Valentine's Day Grift Guide
Democrats' new battle cry: "Methinks the president doth protest too much"
More Blatantly Illegal Trump Executive Orders
You're Gonna Sleep with the Fishes
Meet the World's Dorkiest Homophobes
Chinese Food is a Threat to National Security
It's Me, a Bridesmaid Who's Definitely Not Mad
God Issues Official Statement on NFL Involvement
Standup Comedy from Rachel Forman!
Interview: Zac Oyama on Dragons
It's me, the neighbor you can't figure out
Instead of TikTok, Let's Ban These Apps
10 Fallacies to Watch for in Trump's Second Term
Now That's What I Call Funny: Vol. 7
For Emergency Information, FEMA Recommends Consulting My Instagram Stories
Weed Strains That Also Could Be People I’ve Hooked Up With
An Incomplete Census of Funny Names
No One Understands the Artistic Pain of Butcher's Block
Revised Los Angeles Air Quality Index
Donald Trump's Greenland, by the numbers