Seeking Mild to Moderate Car Guy

Now hiring for someone to expand my friend group.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Now Hiring!!!

Me Operations, Inc. is seeking a mild to moderate car guy to join the team of people I call before I seek help from someone I have to pay.

Who Are Me?

At my apartment, we are passionate individual who brings together a love of convenience and a worry about engaging with people we don’t know. Founded in 1995, we pride myself on leveraging industry-participating experts to provide passable solutions to issues faced in my daily life. We love sitting on the patio, and we fear getting taken for a ride when it comes to car repairs and maintenance. That’s where you come in.

Position Summary:

Mild to moderate car guy with an interest in providing free support, including answering phone calls and texts about cars, but also other stuff sometimes.

Basic Minimum Qualifications:

This part is kind of on you. I don’t know how much car stuff you need to know to be helpful.

• Definitely not like mechanic car school or “restored a 1998 Miata in my garage” or anything, but enough to know parts and tell me what to ask for or avoid if you’re not around and I need to go solo to an Autozone.

• A rag to wipe your hands on in a hot way.

Basic Maximum Qualifications:

For this position, it is CRITICAL that cars not be your whole thing, because I plan to engage with you outside of the car stuff. I really can’t be learning unsolicited car stuff over Thai food or on the way to The Accountant II.

Targeting one car factoid per hour of joyful hanging.

Nice to Haves:

• Whatever car supplies I need that can be borrowed and returned (I won’t learn names of things, don’t tell me).

• A partner that I like as much as or more than you to hang out with while you’re doing car stuff for me.

• A connect at LiveNation (this is separate from the car stuff, but if I could go two for one to concerts, that would totally rule).

Submission Materials:

• Proof of hangability, including but not limited to three of your funniest text messages from the last 6 months.

• Jargon-free summaries of your last three car experiences.

Working Conditions:

• Regular exposure to whatever you have in your own house (you will continue to live there).

• Standard car working environment (in the shop).

• Shop not included.

Why Work With Me?

• I am great at baking cookies, but also can’t have a full batch in my house ever.

• Flexibility. I do not drive frequently or recklessly enough to have stuff pop up that often.

• I’m days away from having a connect at LiveNation!

Compensation and Benefits:

We’re targeting you to make $120-150k elsewhere, so I don’t feel bad paying you in cookies. Opportunities for bonuses exist in seasonal cookies.

Disclaimers:

This position may be required to lift my spirits when I have to pay to talk to someone who isn’t you. Reasonable accommodations may be made to teach me enough car stuff to not need to contact you for more simple things, but cannot be guaranteed.

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