Big Business Valentines

I choo-choo-choose profits over people!

You may not be able to buy love, but you can get rich off of it. The math says that anywhere from 145 million to a fat billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged every year, and it’s not just Hallmark selling them.

This year, some of the world’s largest corporations are releasing their very own Valentine’s Day cards, and we got a sneak preview of the inaugural collection:

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TIME TO TOOT SOME HORNS!

Editor’s note: We have special shouts to give! Please imagine them accompanied by a fantastical horn fanfare. Thank you to Chortle’s newest paid subscribers, 🎺🎺🎺 Steve F. and Larry N.! We greatly appreciate the support.

Steve, Larry, and all of our paid subscribers are automatically entered to win this month’s raffle prize—a tiny painting of an ostrich! Here’s a photo of it next to my son’s color-changing Lighting McQueen Hot Wheels car, to give you an idea of its size and coolness.

Get yourself entered! Upgrade to a paid subscription, and support original humor!

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