Chortle

Chortle

Share this post

Chortle
Chortle
New, Government-Approved Medical Journals

New, Government-Approved Medical Journals

Light summer reading material for the science-averse

Jeff Kruse's avatar
Jeff Kruse
Jul 09, 2025
∙ Paid
5

Share this post

Chortle
Chortle
New, Government-Approved Medical Journals
2
Share
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. / Phil Hartman on Saturday Night Live

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the Health and Human Services Secretary (and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer), recently attacked American medical research, saying that institutional medical journals are “corrupt.” He even threatened to bar government scientists from publishing in several leading journals, which he says are improperly influenced by pharmaceutical companies, and instead proposed creating new publications to be run by his agency.

While there hasn’t been any further official word on whether those plans are moving forward, Chortle’s source deep inside HHS1 tells us that Secretary Kennedy is indeed planning to create and oversee the following, peer-reviewed science journals:

  • Intestinal Parasite Fancy

  • Throat Lozenge Skeptic

  • Phlebotomies 4 Kidz

  • Bag of Leeches Quarterly

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
A guest post by
Jeff Kruse
I'm a lifelong resident of the L.A. area, and wrote regularly for MAD magazine for over 20 years. I also have sitcom screenwriting credits, but that's for public access. You wouldn't have much interest in that, would you?
Subscribe to Jeff
© 2025 Greg Nix
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share