The Invention of the Mirror
An oral history of mankind's most reflective innovation
Luís Leal Miranda is a writer and copywriter from Lisbon, Portugal. He authors the Clube de Leitura newsletter.
Justus von Liebig (Inventor): One morning, I decided to mix a little silver nitrate with a piece of glass I’d been working on. A while later, I found myself face-to-face with a strange man who copied my every move. It took me a moment to realize he looked exactly like the man who always stares at me from the bottom of lakes.
Kaspar Vogt (Rival Glassmaker): Glass is meant to be transparent, translucent at most. This so-called invention defies everything we stand for. If we allow this, what’s next? Opaque hourglasses? Madness.
Ludwig Fuchs (Assistant to Justus von Liebig): Master Justus’s breakthrough was a disaster for those of us in the workshop. He stopped paying overtime, and when we complained, he just waved a hand and said, “Take it up with the man in the lake.”
Friedrich Gutenhof (Merchant): People were skeptical at first. “Why would I want a piece of glass I can’t see through? Might as well buy a wall.” But when you stare at it long enough, it becomes clear: it’s the perfect way to lower your self-esteem without having to listen to other people.
Justine Schönwald (Interior Decorator): The first time I saw a mirror, I thought, “Ah-ha! A full-color version of my shadow.” I told all my friends to get one.
Rainer von Liebig (Barber/Dentist): I never lived near lakes or rivers, so I’d only ever seen my face reflected in muddy puddles—murky water full of insects and frogs. The mirror changed everything. From that day on, I stopped believing I was a frog.
Johannes Kraus (Scholar): A mirror does nothing that a bucket of water can’t do. This is just another attempt to kill off oil portraits, the greatest form of human representation ever created. This new little piece of glass might seem convenient, but give a skilled portraitist the right pigments, and he’ll get the same result in eighteen days or less.
Anton Albrecht (Clergyman): If God wanted us to see ourselves exactly as we are, He would have given everyone a twin.
Marie-Anne von Liebig (Inventor’s Wife): When he brought it home, I took one look and said, “Why did you bring back a portrait of the woman who’s always staring at me from the bottom of lakes?” Anyway, I hate it.
Shouts!
Editor’s note: Let’s give a big Chortle shoutout to our newest paid subscribers, Joanne K. and Lael J. Their subscription dollars directly paid for this guest post by Luis. Thanks for the support!
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Finally, we could see around corners. Big break for parking garages.
This is hilarious!