10 Benefits of Taking Karate Classes as an Adult Man
Nothing says serious person like yelling “HI-YAH!” in a strip mall
New writer alert! Joseph Morelli is an IT professional based in New York City. In college, he was a cartoonist for the campus newspaper and dabbled in stand-up comedy.
1. Self-defense
Sure, you work from home and live in an aggressively safe suburb. But if a raccoon ever breaks into the garage, you’ve got a killer tornado roundhouse kick in your back pocket.
2. You’ll be more attractive to women
Just kidding. You don’t have time for women now. You’ve committed your life to the Way of the Fist.
3. Boosted confidence and self-esteem
At least until the other parents realize you’re not the instructor, just a large, sweaty student who ranks lower than their 8-year-olds.
4. Chopping boards makes breaking down cardboard a breeze
Recycling day doesn’t stand a chance. Just hit that industrial-strength packing tape with your axe kick. Picture the passive-aggressive email Richard at work sent you. Kiai!
5. You’ll know how to kick down a door
Be ready for anything important moment, whether you need to rescue someone from a burning building or make a dramatic entrance at your parents’ house next Christmas.
6. You’ll win trophies and medals
Perfect for displaying next to your wedding photos. Your wife will gaze at them and feel pride. Definitely only pride.
7. You can drive yourself to class
No more begging mommy for rides. You’re a grown-up man with a grown-up car and a grown-up yellow belt.
8. You’ll become more cultured
You can now count to ten in Japanese. Just hope no one asks what comes after that.
9. A gi is more slimming than regular gym clothes
Love handles? No problem. Cinch that belt around them like you’re a sentient sausage link.
10. You’ll keep your toenails impeccably trimmed
No-shoes-on-the-mat means no-more-jagged-troll-feet. Plus, you’ll stop slicing your wife’s calves in bed with your toe-razors. That almost makes the trophies worth it, doesn’t it, Steph? Almost.
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This is great!!
haha but you just told on yourself - you wouldn’t clip your toenails for your wife… but you will for the bros? 😆