I've Been Married Four Long, Horrible Years
Wife Good, World Bad
Yesterday was my anniversary! My wife, Robin, and I got married four long, horrible years ago. Love you, babe!
To be clear, the fact that I am married to Robin and the fact that these have been horrible years are unrelated. She’s great, and I love her very much. We simply embarked on our journey through life together during what feels like a real tire fire of a historical era.
Here’s an example: Our wedding was beautiful. Among the best days of my life. It also took place in our backyard with only five guests because it was March 2021, and the only thing growing faster than our love was a civilization-altering virus. The result was romantic, intimate, and—if we’re being honest—slightly apocalyptic.
I’m so glad that Robin has been the one reliable constant in my life since then. (Apart, of course, from the constant bullshit we must endure in order to continue existing.) She’s like a lighthouse in the world’s most annoying storm, standing steadfast while everything else gets overwhelmed by a torrent of stupidity.
Another example: We got married two months after Joe Biden was sworn in as president. We had no idea the ups and downs, then further downs, and then somehow way, way lower lows that our country had in store for us.
Sometimes I can’t believe how long it’s been! I guess time really flies when you're married—especially if it's very bad. (Again, the time part, not the married part.)
Of course, this reminiscence wouldn't be complete without mentioning our two-year-old son, who we both think is an angel sent directly from heaven. Indeed, his perfect light truly reveals how awful everything else really is. When he smiles, I can almost forget that the Los Angeles wildfires recently forced us to evacuate our home.
Robin, I’m married to you, and the world slides closer to ruin every day. Those are two disconnected things that have both been true since March 27th, 2021. Happy anniversary, my love.
And to anyone out there still searching for a partner, I hope you find a soulmate to spend the rest of your years with. Those years might be shocking and terrible either way—but it still helps!
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