Donald Trump's Greenland, by the numbers

Get ready for a very cold 51st state.

Talk about efficiency: before even taking the oath of presidential office, Donald Trump has stumbled onto another profoundly impossible foreign policy idea. His latest hobbyhorse is that America ought to buy Greenland, which fits neatly alongside past propositions like “Mexico pays for border wall” and “NATO kisses my shiny black loafers.” He even refused to rule out American “military or economic coercion” to claim the island.

Why? Like most Trump schemes, there’s what he says and what he really means. Here, his most substantive statement on Greenland comes from Truth Social (where else?): “For purposes of National Security and Freedom throughout the World, the United States of America feels that the ownership and control of Greenland is an absolute necessity.”

I suppose, geographically speaking, Greenland would be a useful buffer against a naval invasion from Norway. And who am I to argue with Freedom throughout the World? But a more accurate justification probably comes from the fact that, according to the Washington Post, Greenland is “rich with natural resources including oil and rare earth minerals such as neodymium and dysprosium, both of which originate most often from China and Russia.” In other words, there’s money to be made and trade wars to be won.

Unfortunately for Big Don, Greenland is not up for sale. It’s currently an autonomous territory overseen by Denmark, but the local government has aims at independence. Meanwhile, the Danish Prime Minister called the idea of selling Greenland “absurd.” Nevertheless, this seems like one of those ideas that Trump won’t ever let go of, so it now falls to us for serious analysis.

GREENLAND, BY THE NUMBERS

836,330
Greenland’s area, in square miles.

1
The number of things Donald Trump actually knows about Greenland. (Vikings!)