The State of (the) Chortle

An update on how things are going!

It’s pledge week here at Chortle, aka the Drive to Survive. If you missed my first email about it, click here.

The short version: our one-year anniversary is coming up on June 3rd. In the meantime, I’m trying to raise a total of $3,000 to help perpetuate Chortle’s continued existence. This seems like a good place to drop the very first update of the ultra-cool fundraising graphic that

Dodge Greenley

made for us.

Huge, huge thanks to our first two LOLigarchs, Eileen H. and Stephen F. And another big round of gratitude to Connie M. for purchasing a gift subscription. These three generous souls already have us 18% of the way to our total goal! But we need more upgrades if I’m going to get that sweet, sweet checkmark.

All week, we’re publishing themed posts about what it’s like trying to be a creative person in the real world. (Spoiler alert: it ain’t easy!) You’ll also be getting some extra emails from me every afternoon this week explaining why I think Chortle is worth paying for.

But we’re kicking things off with a little radical transparency (or perhaps just some navel-gazing) about where Chortle is now and where I hope we’re headed. I tend to find this kind of thing illuminating when other people do it, so let’s give it a shot here.

Without further ado…

THE STATE OF CHORTLE IS STRONG

Not financially, of course. We barely make any money. But we are rich with self-belief!

Comedy isn't an easy racket, nor is self-publishing. You have to find an audience that not only shares your sense of humor but also wants to hear from you regularly and is willing to pay for the luxury. When I spell it all out that way, it would have made way more sense to found a simple business, like a lemonade stand or a missile production facility.

But Chortle has found an audience! We started with quite literally zero subscribers. I had been writing professionally for over a decade, but I didn’t have an email list or any social media following (apart from several thousand Instagram robots I bought many years ago in a failed effort to make myself more employable). The number of humor pieces I’d published could be counted on one hand. So the fact that we’re still here at all is a win.

This is Chortle’s 240th post—and I've written 162 of them. We've also published (and paid for!) work from twenty other writers.

Excuse me while I give myself a big-ass pat on the back!

HOW MANY SUBSCRIBERS DOES CHORTLE HAVE?

At press time, we have just over 1,300 subscribers! Incredible.

Each post is opened by about half of those folks and gets around 1,000 views total. Our readers have come to us mainly through a mix of personal recommendations, the Substack algorithm, and ads for Chortle that I placed in other newsletters. Our subscriber base is also increasing more quickly now than it was when we started, which is good news for the future. After six months, we had 514 subscribers. In just under six months since then, we’ve added nearly 800 new readers.

The downside? Only 90 of those subscribers currently pay for Chortle. I’m grateful to everyone who reads, and I understand that many of us don’t have a ton of cash to spare at the moment… but that’s still less than 7%. Could be better tbh!

HOW MUCH MONEY DOES CHORTLE MAKE?

I'll dive into some details in another email, but Chortle's total income over the past year has been about $4,500, most of which has gone toward paying other writers or marketing.

The lack of huge funds isn’t entirely unexpected—I’ve been a creative professional for long enough to know that it’s pretty rare for a creative endeavor to be flush with cash. But we definitely need to be making more.

The upside is that newsletters have very little overhead. Next year’s posts won’t cost any more to produce than this year’s did, so all the extra money we raise this week will go towards making Chortle a more sustainable business (as opposed to covering existing costs).

HOW LONG UNTIL CHORTLE IS A FULL-TIME JOB?

The truth is that I already work on Chortle every day, but obviously that doesn’t make it a full-time job. Realistically, we need to reach somewhere around 1,000 paid subscribers before I’ll feel comfortable calling the work I do here “full-time.”

That’s certainly an imposing mountain to climb, and sometimes I think I should probably just make an audition video for Survivor instead. But luckily, my wife has a great job and I have freelance writing work (for which you’re welcome to hire me, by the way). So for now, Jeff Probst can wait.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR CHORTLE?

I have big plans for our second year of existence! My son spent most of his second year screaming and pooping, but I think Chortle’s will be more fun and less fecal.

I’m excited to say that in the coming weeks, we’ll be announcing Chortle’s very first e-book. One of my favorite writers in the world has been hard at work on it, and I think it’s going to be very funny!

I've got other stuff brewing too. I’m exploring the possibility of hosting ads, but I need to make sure it won’t disrupt the experience of reading Chortle and that the money would be worth the effort/potential audience alienation. I have an idea for a podcast using a mix of old and new Chortle material. I’d eventually like to start more newsletters under the Chortle banner focused on different topics and writers. I'd even like to figure out a way to publish New York Times-style puzzles someday. And, of course, I have plenty of ideas for movies and TV series, if anyone ever starts making those again.

These are all goals, not promises. But I can only make any of them happen with your support.

HOW TO HELP!

Of course, the most direct way to support Chortle is to become a paid subscriber. The price goes up next week. Lock in your subscription for $50 now—it's going be $70 starting next Monday.

If you’re the type of person who has cash to spare, consider becoming a LOLigarch. It’s our brand new premium tier, and comes with a host of extra-special Chortle goodies and access. Being a real live oligarch takes at least a billion dollars, but you can be a LOLigarch for just $250/year (or roughly $1 per post). I can't overstate how much that level of support would mean.

If neither of those options works, this week only we’re also accepting one-time donations to help reach our $3,000 goal. Click the button below to send a contribution via Paypal—any amount helps!

Finally, please tell people about Chortle! Forward them one of our emails or post about us on your personal social media profiles (tag me if you do!). It may sound trite, but word of mouth is a huge help to independent publishers.

WAS THIS POST JUST A LONG WAY OF ASKING FOR MONEY?

Yes! Please upgrade! And stay tuned the rest of the week for stuff that’s funnier than this!

Any questions about Chortle or what it’s been like running a daily newsletter? Leave ‘em in the comments! I’m an open book, here.