Oh Shit! It's Fall!

Stop sneaking up on me, bro.

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

Oh shit! I didn't see you there. When did you show up, Fall?

A couple days ago?! What the hell are you talking about? It's 92 degrees outside. The summer vibes are strong! I got sunburned yesterday! I just bought a pack of hot dogs!

You seriously have to stop sneaking up on me. This happens every year. You show up completely out of nowhere while I’m inside with the AC cranked, blissfully unaware that seasons are a thing that change.

It’s honestly weird, bro.

What do you mean you’ve been trying to warn me for weeks? (Apple cider donuts at Trader Joe's don't count—I could eat those year-round.)

Ok, now that you mention it, I guess I did notice that football season started. And yes, there are some Halloween decorations up in my neighborhood. But I thought those were just football and/or Halloween weirdos! I didn’t realize that YOU were here.

I legitimately thought I had more time, Fall. I was planning to ease into you gradually—you know, maybe I’d start to notice the leaves changing around mid-October. In fact, I actually thought I still had a lot of the year ahead of me. But now I’m starting to realize that I’m on the verge of squandering another spin around the sun.

Again: oh shit!

Can we just agree that next year you’ll send everyone an emergency phone alert or something in advance? I’m just spitballing here, but maybe like ATTENTION: FALL WILL ARRIVE IN 72 HOURS. PLEASE LOCATE YOUR JEANS. Otherwise, this will just keep happening! I’ll just keep being shocked by time’s progressive movement forward—

Hang on… I just realized that if you're here, that means winter is... oh god. I haven't even figured out my sweater situation, and now I’m worried about whether my coat still fits. This is all your fault, Fall!

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