Expanded Definitions of Antisemitism
A seemingly established word that gets new meanings every day!
One of the internet age’s more interesting annual rituals is the announcement of each dictionary’s ‘Word of the Year.’ These declarations are obviously marketing stunts—much like Spotify Wrapped and its many knockoffs—but they can still offer a snapshot of the cultural mood. For example, last year Webster’s Dictionary chose polarization, the Oxford English Dictionary picked brain rot (two words, but whatevs), and the American Dialect Society selected rawdog.
Overall, that group seems fairly representative of Hell World: 2024 Edition. But Hell World: 2025 isn’t even half over, and we already have a number of contenders for Word of the Year. Will it be tariff? Or maybe group chat? How about DOGE? The possibilities are exciting and terrible all at the same time.
And yet, even with slang evolving faster than anyone older than 19 can keep up with, I propose a Word of the Year with a long and unfortunate history: antisemite. Though it might seem to have a fixed definition, “antisemitism” has recently taken on a range of new meanings, especially as the term has become a handy tool for cracking down on free speech. So, consider the updated dictionary entry below.1
antisemite
noun
[ an-tee-sem-ahyt, an-tahy-or, especially British, -see-mahyt ]
a person who is prejudiced or hostile toward Jews.
a person who wishes Palestinians weren’t indiscriminately dying.
a person who is the president of a prestigious university.
a person on a student visa.
a person whose article about women’s volleyball in the Harvard Crimson does not explicitly condemn Hamas.
a person who is not interested in watching Woody Allen movies these days.
a person who has never once publicly criticized George Soros.
a person who thinks Stephen Miller looks like Powder.
a person who went on a Birthright trip, but then married a shiksa 🙋♂️.
a person who is Jewish but does not like Donald Trump.
a person who does not like Donald Trump.
MORE FROM CHORTLE
PHOTOS: JD Vance Visits Greenland
Greenland welcomed Vice President JD Vance last week—though in this context, “welcome” has the same meaning as when my wife says, “I welcome your feedback on the items I’m considering for purchase.”
7-Eleven Apologizes for Our April Fool's Posts
To be clear, the Summer Slurpee Experience is an entirely fictional event. 7-Eleven retail locations have no plans to secede from the United States of America. Our posts were intended to spark conversation around the many tongue-tingling flavors of Slurpee, not to foment violence.
13 Ways It Could All Be Worse
When you’re struggling to see the light, sometimes it’s instructive to think about how much worse it could all be. There are, in fact, tons of ways life could be either incrementally or immensely more annoying.
I should note that I feel qualified to weigh in on this linguistic evolution because I descend from two groups with a long history of hating the Jewish people: Catholics and other Jews.
I, too, am a member of the Birthright-attendee-but-married-a-shiksa club . Let's do the secret handshake next time we see one another. 🫱🏻🫲🏼
If a "self-hating antisemite" is a thing, it's our boy Powder.