The Rorschach Test presented by Walmart
Decoding the Mysteries of Grocery Store Floor Stains
Bob Welland writes about weird little nonsense that almost evades his notice (usually in grocery stores) on Glommed.
The aisles of my local Walmart have a long, storied history of spills. I’m sure the staff always does the best they can cleaning up, but nevertheless the concrete floor is permanently stained. Countless food explosions have been fossilized for visitors to contemplate.
I consider them Rorschach inkblot tests that stimulate deep introspection:
I wonder what was spilled?
Did I forget to pick up something?
Is this uncovering any hidden emotions and internal conflicts?
Take this splattery silhouette, for example:
I imagine this to be the Vlasic Pickle Stork pinned on the ground by a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew.
Better put both in my cart. I turn into another aisle, and this shape jumps out at me:
This is obviously the Chiquita Banana lady emerging from Lake Superior.
Gotta pick up some bananas. Lastly, there is this beauty:
It means I need to buy Cheetos, Count Chocula, Hawaiian Punch, Pillsbury Dough, Kellogg's Corn Flakes, Kool-Aid, and Laughing Cow Cheese.
Maybe I shouldn’t go shopping when I’m hungry.
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do I want to know how long it took you for the morphing ink blots
Ok the transitioning ink blot graphics blew my mind