Trending New Social Media Diets

It's time to pretend to get in shape

May 09, 2025

∙ Paid

Illustration of a man and a woman in bathing suits wading into the ocean

Summer is nearly here, and bodies are more important than ever (or so says The New York Times). But social media is overflowing with tips on how to get the “beach body” you've always wanted. With a mind-numbing number of available diet options, which one is the best for you?

As usual, Chortle is here to help. We gathered a panel of expert nutritionists to review the latest trending diets, so instead of spending all summer concerned about how you look, you can worry about your cardboard personality instead.

THE SHORTCUT DIET

WHAT IT IS: A plan where you eat whatever you want and have liposuction every few months.
PROS: The “eat whatever you want” part.
CONS: A steadily increasing number of liposuction scars.
BOTTOM LINE: If you have more money than you know what to do with, you might as well try it.

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A guest post by

Jeff Kruse

I'm a lifelong resident of the L.A. area, and wrote regularly for MAD magazine for over 20 years. I also have sitcom screenwriting credits, but that's for public access. You wouldn't have much interest in that, would you?