Strong Opinions

Buy Yourself Some Socks

It will make everything a little better.

Aug 22 •

Potatoes Are The New Dinosaurs

They're both prehistoric, but only one is delicious.

Aug 4 •

Your Sense of Smell Makes You Look Ridiculous

Getting information through your nostrils sounds far-fetched!

Jun 11 •

We Need More Serious People

I'm a comedy writer, I shouldn't have to say this.

May 13 •

These Pillowcases Should Be Illegal

They're a pillow SHAM!

Apr 28 •

Watching Exercise Videos Should Count As Exercise

Let influencers do the work for us

Apr 2 •

Weddings Are Dumb

Apologies to everyone I know.

Mar 17 •

Sell Your Damn Tesla

We all know you're thinking about it

Feb 27 •

You're a bad driver (and so am I!)

There's no such thing as a good driver.

Feb 17 •

The Super Bowl Sucks

And every other major event has become Super Bowlified

Feb 5 •

So You Broke Your New Year's Resolution

Luckily, it's the world's dumbest thing to feel guilty about.

Jan 7 •

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