Archive - Chortle

Sorry I’m Late, the Strait of Hormuz Is Closed

We're all feeling the effects.

Apr 13 • Connor Adams

It’s me, a guy who just parked outside your house

There's no reason to be suspicious.

Apr 10 • Greg Nix

Schrödinger's War Criminal

Theoretical physicists condemn President Trump

Apr 8 • Greg Nix

10 Career Ideas for Pam Bondi

Fired by the president? In this economy???

Apr 6 • Greg Nix

Spring Submissions Are Open!

I’m paying for funny topical pieces.

Apr 3 • Greg Nix

An Exclusive Interview with Bryon Noem's Boobs

A conversation about bimbos, bike shorts, and the American dream.

Apr 2 • Greg Nix

March 2026

Measuring the Economy by "Guys Giving Tours of School Buses"

The economic indicator no one is watching

Mar 30 • Greg Nix

Am I "Man" or Am I "Sir?"

Reflecting on nouns

Mar 27 • Greg Nix

Tilly Norwood Isn't a Real Actor, Because She Can’t Die Tragically

A.I. actors can never be REAL Hollywood stars.

Mar 25 • Greg Nix

So You Want to Live Near the Ocean

How to assimilate into beach town culture.

Mar 23 • Greg Nix

The Cynical Consumer's Guide to Refrigerator Shopping

The damn thing broke.

Mar 11 • Greg Nix

Dispatches from the Comedy Mines

Conditions below ground remain difficult.

Mar 9 • Greg Nix

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