A Timeline of Notable Earth Days: 1970 to 2145
A noble past and an illustrious future.
Guest writer alert! Andrew Wood is a writer from NY with a BA in short-form bio writing.
April 22nd, 1970
Coinciding with the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency, the very first Earth Day is held. Over 20 million Americans take to the streets to voice their concerns over rising environmental disasters and unregulated industrial development.
April 22nd, 1980
The 10th anniversary of Earth Day is celebrated with the passing of the Endangered Species Act, Marine Mammal Protection Act, and the Clean Air Act.
April 22nd, 2025
On the heels of the 55th Earth Day, President Trump pledges to close all EPA agencies, announces massive layoffs at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and slashes funding for climate change research.
April 22nd, 2033
The first Crude Oil Appreciation Day is held, replacing the recently eradicated Earth Day. Parents are encouraged to teach their children about the wonders of fossil fuels and the fallacy of renewable energy.
April 22nd, 2041
Frankie the Fossil is introduced as the official Crude Oil Appreciation Day mascot. A press release from the White House states that Frankie the Fossil delivers barrels of oil to good little girls and boys, and jagged shards of solar panel glass to bad ones.
April 22nd, 2053
The American blue jay becomes the 29th avian species to go extinct in the past four years. The blue jay is retroactively added to the FBI Most Wanted List and the White House declares Americans are now safe from a treacherous foe.
April 22nd, 2062
Crude Oil Appreciation Day festivities are canceled due to raging wildfires across the country. Citizens are advised to stay indoors and watch a marathon of Frankie the Fossil and the Coal Kids Save Easter.
April 22nd, 2067
President Frankie signs an executive order to convert all national parks into environmental reeducation centers where misinformed Americans are educated on the harms of wind and solar energy.
April 22nd, 2083
To celebrate the 50th Crude Oil Appreciation Day, Congress passes the Happiest Place on Earth Act, allocating $19.7 billion dollars to rescue Disney World from the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
April 22nd, 2091
The White House is moved to Boulder, Colorado. Emperor Frankie insists the decision has nothing to do with the majority of the East Coast now being underwater.
April 22nd, 2101
The televised Crude Oil Appreciation Day Parade is interrupted with a cryptic message from a mysterious organization known as the Children of Gaia stating simply, “Order will be restored.”
April 22nd, 2102-2132
Official Earth Day / Crude Oil Appreciation Day records lost due to “the Darkening.”
April 22nd, 2133
To celebrate the 100th anniversary of Crude Oil Appreciation Day, Emperor Frankie II is kidnapped by the Children of Gaia and hurled into an active volcano.
April 22nd, 2134
Global temperatures drop for the first time in nearly a century. A lone blue jay is spotted on the ruins of the ExxonMobil House (formerly known as the Donald Trump American First House) ((formerly known as the White House)).
April 22nd, 2145
Citizens of New America celebrate Gaia Day by re-sinking Disney World.
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