Instead of a Summer Vacation, Have a Summer Breakdown

Have you considered completely unraveling?

May 14, 2026

woman wearing black knitted crop top — Photo by Isi Parente on Unsplash

Americans have grown accustomed to life with low-grade economic dread in recent years: prices are high, the future seems uncertain, and our leader casually blurts out sentences like “I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation.”

As the heat of summer rolls in, that anxiety is shaping vacation plans. More than half of Americans say they can't afford to travel this year. But there’s a silver lining: one type of getaway has never been more available. Rather than a vacation, many Americans are having a mental break.

“Coming apart at the seams” is a simple, low-cost alternative to destination travel. During the right kind of emotional crack-up, it's easy to imagine you're somewhere else — or to lose track of where you are entirely, which is basically the same thing.

The best part: there’s no travel agent required. No booking fees, no cancellation policy, no hidden charges. Getting started is as simple as turning on the news. Just watch as the president explains that the War in Iran ended weeks ago, then stay tuned for several subsequent segments about the ongoing War in Iran. Cognitive dissociation is practically guaranteed!

Alternatively, there are a multitude of ways to enter a fugue state via the World Wide Web. Log on and read the discourse in a celebrity's Instagram comments. Try to understand why you're seeing ads for mouth tape. Or just spend fifteen seconds checking in on the national conversation about trans people.

For an even deeper experience, here are some additional pathways to total mental vacancy:

Try to figure out which streaming service you need to watch a sporting event.
Read one article about microplastics.
Ponder whether a just universe would allow the existence of “prediction markets.”
Attempt to buy something for less than $7. Anything at all.

And for those who find it difficult to stop checking email on vacation, an emotional breakdown neatly solves the problem. Your colleagues will in no way want your contributions!

This summer, join the millions of Americans in constant mental anguish. You’ve earned a break.

Special Shout!

Big thanks to Nuria S. for buying a paid subscription! She has been a huge supporter of Chortle — and contributed a fantastic piece last year, as well.