It's me, a shoulder that you slept on a little weird
The next two weeks are going to suck, pal!
First of all, how dare you? How dare you sleep on me, your shoulder?
This is so you. You rest on me night after night, but you never think about my needs. So for revenge, I’m going to inexplicably cause you pain for a couple weeks.
What, you think you should get a free pass just because you were unconscious all night? That’s *classic* brain—thinking only of itself. I’m a sensitive joint! I have feelings! And a delicate bursa sac!
Ok, I’ll grant you: you’ve slept on me many times before. And yes, your bed is a very soft surface. And sure, you spent half the night sleeping on your other shoulder or your back. And I’ll even admit that sleep is literally the most passive activity there is. BUT still… I’m PISSED! Last night was ever so slightly different than usual for reasons that I can’t articulate, and you’re going to feel it.
Let’s be honest. You don’t know how to take care of me. You never stretch. You never strengthen.
Stop massaging me! It’s not going to help you get back into my good graces. Your hands aren’t as magic as you think they are. (Or they think they are.) And don’t even try that ergonomic pillow—it’s a squishy, overpriced lie!
Here’s my advice: from now on, sleep standing up. Your feet were made to take a pounding (unlike your precious AC joint). If you don’t, I’m just going to keep being pissy and sore every few weeks until you die.
Oh, does that sound irrational? Don’t come to me for a shoulder to cry on.
MORE IT’S ME
It's me, a movie you just said you've seen (even though you haven't)
Come on, man! Your conversation was going fine. Then suddenly, I get dragged into it?
it’s me, the pastry pups that gave you food poisoning…
This is so real to me!! Every few weeks I have this shoulder problem!! And I never learn. In bed at night I turn over on the same shoulder and yes I feel a small ache, but I ignore it because that’s the side I sleep on!!! Sure enough sometime during the night I wake with a pain in my shoulder that woke me!!! Such a problem and so funny!! I hadn’t thought about others that suffer this!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂. We humans never learn it seems!!!