My Dog's Annual Holiday Card
Th*Is was A SpeCial YEEr 🐕🦺🐕🦺
DEar FRieNDS, fAMILY, Other DOGS i barK At NEArbY, and oOF course DAD:
MARREY KIRSTMASS!
Th*Is was A SpeCial YEEr. I a’ccomPsihEd many GoOAls.
I Was Very STInky.
I sAw sqUIRRELS IN the Yard.. a Lot! I ALmost got One.
i THREW UP on eVEry RUG!%!
Nott enuff BONES :-((
To maNY baths :-(((((
mY little Brother PULLed my TaIL. BUT!! I di’dnt Bite.
HeLLo Moom.
I ‘‘aM hUNGry.
Happey NEW YeER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next yEeR i hoppe to LICK More.
🐕🦺🐕🦺🐕🦺🐕🦺🐕🦺🐕🦺🐕🦺
LOVE ,Mack
Chortle for the Holidays!
Updated Christmas Carols for Millennials
Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is quiet.
Pop a gummy to help you doze.
Stream the Great British Baking Show.
Sleep thanks to THC,
Sleep thanks to THC.
Santa's Rejects: Reindeer Who Didn't Make the Cut
We’re all familiar with the big kahunas of reindeer fame. But many folks don’t realize that Santa’s final sleigh squad was whittled down from a much larger pool of holiday hopefuls. In fact, an entire B-squad didn’t make the cut.
Here, reported for the time ever, are some of the unlucky ungulates who didn’t get the job.
MURDER at the December to Remember Sales Event
Lexus dealerships at Christmas are about as subtle as a right hook to the jaw. I didn’t belong there. Not with my scuffed trench coat and checkered past.
Big red bows adorned every car. Fake snow dusted the showroom floor—the kind that never melts and never fools anyone. Mariah Carey crooned on a loop… “All I Want for Christmas is You” was starting to sound like a threat.
Mak is a very cool name for a dog. My dog Mac gives a big bark shout out to yours! Hope you get lots of treats!
I only made it to "I Was Very STInky" before laughing.