It's Me, a Blurry Photo of Fireworks
I'm having a bit of an existential crisis here.
Happy birthday to me! Don’t you remember? One year ago today, you took a blurry picture of some distant fireworks—and here I am! Which brings me to my question…
Why do I exist?
I mean, why the hell did you decide to take a photo of fireworks?
I just want to know my purpose here. Were you planning to look at me later on? You haven’t. Were you hoping to somehow capture the ineffable magic of exploding colors? Didn’t happen. Were you going to get me printed on paper? I don’t think they even do that anymore!
Don’t get me wrong, I understand how I exist. It was last 4th of July, and you were a little tipsy. A big fireworks extravaganza at the casino down by the water was in full swing. And so you couldn’t resist snapping some pics on your phone.
Hundreds of them.
Harmless, right? Who cares if they’re out of focus? They’ll still be fun to have, right?
WRONG! I’m not fun at all! In fact, I suck! Let me tell you, that kind of self-knowledge really weighs on a digital file. (By the way, every other photo on your phone sucks, too. It’s a really sad group to hang around with. Maybe you should take a class or something.)
In a way, I can’t blame you for my poor composition. Your phone’s light sensor simply wasn’t made to capture those fireworks in all their glory. But… you realize there are millions of photos of fireworks on the internet, right? Like, you could probably find better pics of the exact same fireworks show just by Googling it?
Or, hear me out, you could just fondly remember the many other fireworks shows you’ve seen. I mean, you went to three last year alone. You know how I know? Because you took photos then, too!
Sorry to be a downer. I guess everyone gets a little existential on their birthday. I just hope this is a wake-up call for you. From now on, try to enjoy things in the moment. Stop and smell the flowers once in a while… without taking their picture. (I’ve seen your attempts to capture the botanical garden.)
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