Political Fundraising Text Messages I Might Not Block

Beggars can't be choosers, but they can at least be creative.

Photo by Karl Moore on Unsplash

It’s almost summer, which, as we all know, means it’s time to embrace the four B’s: beaches, barbecues, babes, and billions of campaign fundraising asks.

It’s been almost two years since I last wrote about the endless (and endlessly annoying) emails and text messages that politicians start sending out in the ramp-up to election season, and if anything, the problem is worse than ever. I swear that if anyone ever runs for president on a platform of banning spam texts and regulating the volume of TV commercials, they’ll get their face on Mount Rushmore.

But even though these fundraising texts are tiresome, I can envision a world in which they work on me. It’s just that the politicians and celebrities and dark-money Super PACs behind them need to get a lot more creative with their asks.

Here are some free ideas for them.

• Hey Greg, it’s Rich Talarico, and I wanted you to be the first to know — I’m changing my name to Tich Ralacico. Here’s why.

• Hi. Tom Steyer here, and I just punched myself in the nuts.

• URGENT! We have THREE HOURS left to hit our goal: eat several pounds of spaghetti and meatballs. Can you help, Greg?