Don't Miss Tee-Ball!
It's the perfect activity for small, vulnerable children.
Calling all parents! Does your young child like activities with complex rules? Would your life be better if they knew how to swing a blunt instrument? Good news: registration for Tee-Ball is NOW OPEN!
This spring, wake up early every Saturday morning and join us for games at Distant Arroyo Park. You love baseball, so obviously this will be a great experience for the whole family, right? Don’t think about this question for too long.
Just imagine how adorable your son or daughter will look in their uniform. Then imagine wrestling them into it every weekend, whether you remembered to clean it or not! (You didn’t.)
All kids love being outside, so why not sign your child up for a long morning of wistfully staring at the playground near our baseball field? And don’t forget everyone’s favorite part: SNACK BREAK, snacks NOT included!
Our league fundamentally believes that baseball is a sport meant for children aged six and younger. It’s complicated, it’s hazardous, and it takes a long time. Plus, let’s face it: all kids have a strong natural instinct to stand still for long periods of time. Don’t deny your child this pleasure!
Best of all, their team will enjoy expert instruction from… YOU! That’s right, even if we don’t guilt you into officially volunteering, your constant vigilance will be required to ensure that your child keeps their glove on their hand and doesn’t get smacked in the face by a flying object.
Plus, new this year, one player on each team will get a trophy for outstanding sportsmanship at the end of every game! This is virtually guaranteed to send all of the other kids into emotional hysterics right before it’s time to get back in the car.
What are you waiting for? Register today, and your child can start asking to leave as soon as this weekend. Or if you’re lucky, they’ll really love it—and then you’ll get to do this for the next decade!
Submissions are open!
I just put out a new call for submissions related to love. Chosen pieces will be published in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. Please feel free to submit—and SHARE the submission guidelines with your funny friends!
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Too true. Also, I'm old now and the kids are grown and gone so I found this HILARIOUS!! Not because those kids are going through all of this themselves, right? That would seem an awful lot like revenge. 🤭🤭🤣😅
When we were still in the US, we signed our older daughter up for soccer, which mostly involved a bunch of 5 year olds running around wildly somewhere in the vicinity of a ball and a couple of nets. Seems more manageable than tee ball.