10 Career Ideas for Pam Bondi
Fired by the president? In this economy???
On the heels of former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s very bad month, President Trump ousted Attorney General Pam Bondi last week, in part because of her struggles to contain fallout from the Epstein files. Before these firings, Trump's second cabinet had been notably more stable than his first, when aides like Sean Spicer and Steve Bannon were gone within a year.
Previous departures from Trump’s inner circle have often come with soft landings: Spicer went on to Dancing with the Stars, Kayleigh McEnany became a Fox News host, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders became governor of Arkansas. But it remains to be seen whether second-term exits will get the same treatment. After 14 months of inventing creative new ways to say the president is not a pedophile, Bondi may discover that her post-Trump career options are fewer than she expects.
If that’s the case, here are some alternative career paths worth considering.
Move back to Florida and get eaten by an alligator.
Self-publish an inspiring children’s book called The Little Girl Who Worked for One of History’s Greatest Monsters.
Conclude she is not cut out for politics, and return to her career as a star shooting guard for the Chicago Bulls.
Contract the first recorded medical case of “perma-farts.”
Learn to code, biiiiiiitch!
Fight Mike Tyson live on Netflix.
Experiment with that machine from The Fly for a bit. Just see what happens.
Accidentally trip and fall off the edge of the planet.
Spend the next 20 years exploring the inside of a federal prison.
Have an Ebenezer Scrooge-like change of heart and mind, testify before the world about the true horrors of the Trump administration, and use your insider knowledge to help defeat American fascism. THEN spend the next 20 years exploring the inside of a federal prison.
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