We Are Using AI to Build the Pyramids
Here's what you need to know.
Slaves of Egypt! Your Pharoah is speaking! I come to deliver good news!
Huddle up. Not too close.
We are leaning HEAVY into Artificial Intelligence, guys. HEAVY. And it’s sick. Tons of efficiency. Everything is going to pretty much get a lot easier and radder… it’s honestly so sick and I’m stoked.
I am especially stoked to announce that our first AI project is…
Pyramids. We are doing Pyramids! AI! You can clap! You SHOULD clap.
So now that everybody clapped, we gotta get real.
Good news: these Pyramids will be built FAST. It’s insane. I can literally just, fucking, like, do it. I just have to, like, type it! And I can make like 100 Pyramids! I can make 1,000! Slaves, get excited—we are going to have 1,000 Pyramids. Which brings me to my first bit of bad news.
Bad news: the Pyramids are not real.
They are just on my phone. But fuck, dude. It’s still sick, right? And I can, like, put whatever I want on them. I can put, fucking, YOU on them if I want to! I mean, I don’t want to, but I could. But it’s honestly limitless.
There’s more good news! Someone told me, I can’t remember who, but basically we have to make a lot of fake Pyramids right now, so the technology gets better. And then, fucking, EVENTUALLY, they will figure out how to make the Pyramids real. It’s like an investment. You gotta pay to play. Have to. Speaking of technology…
Bad news: the fake Pyramids look like shit.
I have 1,000 fake Pyramids that look like dogshit. I have told the fucking computer a million times, “Make a Pyramid in Egypt with MY FACE ON THE PYRAMID.” And dudes, it does not do that. It makes squares. It makes triangles. If it makes the pyramid, it puts a white guy on the Pyramid. Or the Pyramid, like, won’t sit on the fucking sand. It’s just hovering! And it’s like, stop! You know? Like, fucking STOP.
Good news: I got AI to put me on top of a tiger and I’m riding the tiger. It’s sick. I’ll pass my phone around and you guys can take a look. It’s sick.
Bad news (I guess): you all still have to be slaves. AI is crazy expensive. I guess, like, we need a ton of water to make AI work. I dunno. So I need, like, a lot of water to make these fake Pyramids. And let’s be clear, I’m not gonna start digging water or whatever. I am Pharaoh. That’s an insane idea. It’s you. You are water guys now. Go to the Nile, and fucking, you know? Get the water. We gotta get the water.
And just to be clear, yes, you are still making the real Pyramids. We’re doing a branching out thing. Fake Pyramids, real pyramids. Both. You.
Good news: the fake Pyramids look close enough! They look like shit, but dudes, it was fast. And honestly? Someone is gonna believe they are real pyramids. I actually think a lot of people will believe they are real pyramids. And that’s the game, you know? That’s the game.
Okay, that’s pretty much it. Back to work! Lots of work. Tons of work.
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Never did trust these Large Hieroglyph Models...
And I’m going to call them “pyrA.I.mids” — that’s a great branding that will make us lots of money. Well, it’ll make ME a lot of money cause, you know, I’M Pharaoh and I own the I.P. In fact, I own everything.