Rewriting a headline about Donald Trump and Elon Musk
Let's come up with a new ending for a truly terrifying sentence.
Yesterday, the Washington Post ran this headline: Trump backs plan that would give Musk broad role in U.S. policymaking.
It’s one of those special sentences that gets worse with every word. Reading it made my butthole clench, as it should for any human being with a functional nervous system and basic knowledge of current events. Such a magnificently bad idea could only exist here in 2024, where Republican politics is less a cohesive set of ideas and more an unsteady alliance of rich guys who resent that young people are allowed to call them shitheads.
Luckily, I personally have many good ideas1 and I’m also quite practiced at rewriting bad sentences.2 Here are a few suggestions for finishing the sentence “Trump backs plan that would give Musk...” in a way that isn’t the rhetorical equivalent of putting Freddy and Jason in the same movie.