Sisyphus Applies for a New Job

Cover letter for a self-starting boulder specialist

Photo by Vicky Sim on Unsplash

Dear Hiring Team:

I’m applying for the open Marketing Associate role listed on your website. While I have no direct experience in B2B sales funnels, I am well known among ancient Greeks as a crafty trickster who uncovered the secrets of Zeus himself. I’m also a quick learner.

For the last several millennia, I’ve worked as an independent contractor at the behest of Hades and Zeus, but I’m now ready to transition into a less punishment-oriented position. In my current role, my primary responsibility has been to push a boulder up a slope, then watch it roll back down again, for as long as it takes until the gods’ anger is sated. Over time, my position has expanded to include general megalith coordination and oversight of anything forward-momentum-related in the larger hill area. My superiors on Mount Olympus have repeatedly noted that my toil is unceasing.