Proposed Holidays for 2025
Next year might be grim. We'll need some new holidays.
Somehow, a new year is right around the corner. That doesn’t feel right to me, but I triple-checked, and it’s true.
The American populace had a rough go of it in 2024—what with the entire election saga, and multiple natural disasters, and a #1 hit movie based on half of a Broadway musical. I’ve come to the conclusion that we need more to look forward to in 2025. More specifically, I think some extra holidays next year would make the inevitable tough parts of life a little easier to bear. So consider this a modest proposal for some easy ways to perk up 2025 for all Americans.
Proposed Holidays for 2025
New Year's Day (January 1st)
MLK Day (January 20th)
MLK Day II: Only the Radical Stuff (January 21st)
January is the hardest month. The only relief is that we get a day off for MLK Day, so I think everyone will be able to get behind an extension. But on MLK Day II, no one is allowed to quote “I Have A Dream.” Instead, we’ll focus on Dr. King’s deep cuts, like the time he said, “A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” Catchy, eh?
President’s Day (February 17th)Recent evidence shows these guys may not be worth celebrating.
Presidents of the United States of America Day (February 27th)
Instead, let’s celebrate the nineties alternative rock band The Presidents of the United States of America, who released their iconic single “Peaches” on February 27th, 1996. A classic earworm.