Menu for a Drought-Conscious Dinner Party
Conserve water AND have fun! (Mostly conserve water, though.)
New writer alert! Rachelle Stein-Wotten’s writing has been published in literary magazines, won awards at web series festivals, and has been performed in Vancouver and Seattle. She writes and eats mostly vegetables from her home on Vancouver Island.
As many parts of the world face extreme heat and drought conditions, people are having to adjust their summer plans to suit the climate. But a precipitation-less lifestyle doesn’t have to mean the end of your social life. You can even still plan a dinner party, like the one below!
Appetizers
Hard, old cheese
Try an 80-year-old parmigiano to evoke memories of when waterways weren’t contaminated with heavy metals and the fish were edible.
Dried fruit
No dehydrating required! You can pick the shrivelled husks right off your backyard cherry tree.
Salad Course
Green salad, unwashed
There are so many beneficial micronutrients in dirt! Just forget about all the non-beneficial ones. And make sure your guests sign a waiver.
Main Course
Pasta
Noodles typically require a lot of water to achieve the perfect al dente texture. So, can you still have pasta during a drought? Of course! Simply soak the noodles overnight in a quarter1 of the water you’d normally use. By morning, they’ll have absorbed just enough of it to be a delightful al crunche.
Best with a cream sauce.
Beverages
One glass of water per person. No refills.
Do not serve dehydrating alcohol, you buffoon!
Dessert
Hand-churned ice cream
The night can still end with a sweet treat even if your local river has become a seasonal creek. Cow milk and nut milks both require lots of water to produce, but luckily, there’s another alternative: Milk of Magnesia. Your guests will need the laxative effect after eating hard noodles anyway. (A good host plans for everything.)
By the end of this meal, we guarantee your guests will be leaking tears of joy — which you can use to make pickles for your next gathering! Charcuterie plate, anyone?
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Do not be tempted to use more – unless you’re planning on using up the water you’ll need for your weekly hair wash.
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What about a jerky course?
I wash my salad greens in my Stillsuit. Just throw 'em into the soup and wear them overnight.