I'm sorry ice. I think you have a beautiful name and it's sad that these goons have come along and ruined it for you. It's like if your name was Ted Bundy before Ted Bundy. Or O.J., or Donald Trump or Charles Manson or something. Then these guys come along and ruin your whole life. Even worse if you're a junior. Imagine people thinking you're the offspring of these people. It's not like you can go change your name through the government like other people can. And there's not a really good nickname for you. So, hopefully, the age old meaning of your true self will prevail. Until then buddy, it's a tough go. But I know people will still enjoy you in summer and you will always be the number one guy in Greenland. You, ice, are popular there!
Looking deeper into the matter, the tragedy widens. Ice also refers to diamonds, which means we’ve lost not only frozen water but jewelry, watches, and at least half of hip-hop. Sports fans aren’t safe either: to ice the kicker now sounds like an act of domestic terrorism against the Vikings. And anyone who says I.C.E. is on thin ice suddenly sounds redundant, or worse—threatening.
If we’re willing to get creative, though, language still gives us options. We can ice them out, stare them down with ice water in our veins, and blast full-volume Ice Queen energy until the goons retreat to warmer syllables. Frankly, the acronym can’t survive sustained metaphorical abuse.
I say we reclaim the word aggressively. Flood the discourse with cubes, rinks, cocktails, diamonds, hockey penalties, and emotional detachment. Turn ice into semantic climate change. I’m doing my part from Portland—where “Stranger Danger” is basically a municipal art form—and I’m confident that with enough misuse, I.C.E. will eventually melt back into the freezer where it belongs.
I can’t link a picture, but I just saw an actual headline on CNN that was “Don’t say ‘Watch out for ice’: FEMA warned storm announcements could invite memes”. MEMES??? How could it belittle Ice (good kind) like that. It’s so much more than memes it’s Ice’s entire reputation!
Since Robin and Jonathon liked my comment, I want to congratulate them on their exquisite taste and Greg for starting this chain reaction. Sara's comment is inspired and Robin's psychic comment is prophetic. See what a group of people can do with too much time on their hands.
i want credit for being there at the inception of this article. it was greg, walking through the kitchen (after having numerous wtf is happening in this country) saying loudly “ice is just the absolute best.” and me going “what?!” and him holding up a frosty glass of gatorade.
The world’s first collective divorce 😂
A crying-laughing emoji from Rachel Forman?? This is huge for me.
I'm sorry ice. I think you have a beautiful name and it's sad that these goons have come along and ruined it for you. It's like if your name was Ted Bundy before Ted Bundy. Or O.J., or Donald Trump or Charles Manson or something. Then these guys come along and ruin your whole life. Even worse if you're a junior. Imagine people thinking you're the offspring of these people. It's not like you can go change your name through the government like other people can. And there's not a really good nickname for you. So, hopefully, the age old meaning of your true self will prevail. Until then buddy, it's a tough go. But I know people will still enjoy you in summer and you will always be the number one guy in Greenland. You, ice, are popular there!
Came for the article, stayed for this comment.
This was such a smart, generous joke–you nailed the tone without hammering it. Loved it..
Looking deeper into the matter, the tragedy widens. Ice also refers to diamonds, which means we’ve lost not only frozen water but jewelry, watches, and at least half of hip-hop. Sports fans aren’t safe either: to ice the kicker now sounds like an act of domestic terrorism against the Vikings. And anyone who says I.C.E. is on thin ice suddenly sounds redundant, or worse—threatening.
If we’re willing to get creative, though, language still gives us options. We can ice them out, stare them down with ice water in our veins, and blast full-volume Ice Queen energy until the goons retreat to warmer syllables. Frankly, the acronym can’t survive sustained metaphorical abuse.
I say we reclaim the word aggressively. Flood the discourse with cubes, rinks, cocktails, diamonds, hockey penalties, and emotional detachment. Turn ice into semantic climate change. I’m doing my part from Portland—where “Stranger Danger” is basically a municipal art form—and I’m confident that with enough misuse, I.C.E. will eventually melt back into the freezer where it belongs.
Long live frozen H₂O.
Everything else? Put it on ice.
Couldn’t have said it better m-ice-elf.
Ice, Ice, Baby!
https://share.google/x6MTsu8hPlCRkaBkd
I can’t link a picture, but I just saw an actual headline on CNN that was “Don’t say ‘Watch out for ice’: FEMA warned storm announcements could invite memes”. MEMES??? How could it belittle Ice (good kind) like that. It’s so much more than memes it’s Ice’s entire reputation!
Too lazy at the moment, but pretend I made a joke here using the word "cream" somewhere in combination with "ice."
When it comes to posts about losing the meaning of otherwise good and decent words, this trumps them all
I see what you did there.
Since Robin and Jonathon liked my comment, I want to congratulate them on their exquisite taste and Greg for starting this chain reaction. Sara's comment is inspired and Robin's psychic comment is prophetic. See what a group of people can do with too much time on their hands.
Americans 🤝 ice
Americans ❌ I.C.E
👏
Fuck I.C.E. Not ice.
This guy gets it.
Greg Bovino, has left his job as Border Patrol commander
i want credit for being there at the inception of this article. it was greg, walking through the kitchen (after having numerous wtf is happening in this country) saying loudly “ice is just the absolute best.” and me going “what?!” and him holding up a frosty glass of gatorade.
Shh you’re blowing up my spot!