Some might say this was overly harsh. I, personally, feel that you didn’t go far enough. They’ll never know the gravity of their mistake until you visit their homes and read this to their faces.
Happy to be here, Greg, my smiles and chortles give it away every time. Also, somehow I missed the roast of the swing states previously but loved it this morning.
Okay I will own up to the fact that I clicked the "pale little butt" link, but I was rewarded by getting to watch your Oscars plea again. I'm here to recommend Drew Magary's "The Hike" to you. I think you'd like it.
I was shaky as I neared the ending because I felt like it would really make or break the rest of the book -- how could The Path *possibly* end after all that? But the last moment between Ben and his wife was *chef's kiss* perfection
Totally! It was very skillful writing to make her “hike” night into a memorable flashback, but not important enough that you would think it plays into the plot somehow.
Not sure why anyone would want to cancel their subscription! I’m a lifelong supporter and have been since I met you! You are so funny and entertaining! Love your humor and I hope you will continue for years to come!! 💙💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lee Bacon is a kindred soul. And really—why should we be any less divisive than the population we so lovingly embraced today.? Why should we be magnanimous when the country is enthusiastically setting itself on fire? Why should we do anything but fiddle while chortle almost burns?
As a designated Oligarch, I feel liberated—nay, obligated—to pontificate, obfuscate, and roller-skate my opinions straight into the rink of controversy, helmet optional. I will gesture broadly, cite nothing, and speak with the confidence of someone who has never once been fact-checked by reality.
And now, having sown confusion, stirred outrage, and possibly pulled a hamstring, I pause, breathe deeply, clasp my hands, and offer this:
Om Shanti.
May peace be with all—especially after whatever that was.
Some might say this was overly harsh. I, personally, feel that you didn’t go far enough. They’ll never know the gravity of their mistake until you visit their homes and read this to their faces.
I like the way you think.
the new chortle! still funny, tighter, and pettier than ever!!!
Turns out you didn’t need to threaten divorce after all!
Happy to be here, Greg, my smiles and chortles give it away every time. Also, somehow I missed the roast of the swing states previously but loved it this morning.
--Wisconsinite
Tell your neighbors to shape up!
We need to normalize this kind of Substack behavior. You want to unsub? We're COMING FOR YOU.
No safe harbor!
I agree wholeheartedly. What is life without humor? What is news without the truth? That's what you get here at Chortle...a twofer!
I might have to quote you on this!
Please do!
Okay I will own up to the fact that I clicked the "pale little butt" link, but I was rewarded by getting to watch your Oscars plea again. I'm here to recommend Drew Magary's "The Hike" to you. I think you'd like it.
I am LITERALLY reading that book right now! I’m like 80 pages from the end.
Haha! Okay I won't spoil it. Let me know how you like the ending when you get there!
The verdict is in: I loved this book! The Path feels like a perfect metaphor for life in the 2020s. Random, violent, very occasionally awesome.
I was shaky as I neared the ending because I felt like it would really make or break the rest of the book -- how could The Path *possibly* end after all that? But the last moment between Ben and his wife was *chef's kiss* perfection
Totally! It was very skillful writing to make her “hike” night into a memorable flashback, but not important enough that you would think it plays into the plot somehow.
Let those resentments go, Brother.
That’s it, you’re going on the list.
This is why I never unsubscribed from Highlights magazine. They've been waiting more than 30 years to tear into me. I just know it.
This is how you know you’re a Gallant, not a Goofus.
Not sure why anyone would want to cancel their subscription! I’m a lifelong supporter and have been since I met you! You are so funny and entertaining! Love your humor and I hope you will continue for years to come!! 💙💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate the support, Carol!
Lee Bacon is a kindred soul. And really—why should we be any less divisive than the population we so lovingly embraced today.? Why should we be magnanimous when the country is enthusiastically setting itself on fire? Why should we do anything but fiddle while chortle almost burns?
As a designated Oligarch, I feel liberated—nay, obligated—to pontificate, obfuscate, and roller-skate my opinions straight into the rink of controversy, helmet optional. I will gesture broadly, cite nothing, and speak with the confidence of someone who has never once been fact-checked by reality.
And now, having sown confusion, stirred outrage, and possibly pulled a hamstring, I pause, breathe deeply, clasp my hands, and offer this:
Om Shanti.
May peace be with all—especially after whatever that was.
Thank you for descending from the (privately owned) mountaintop and sharing this wisdom, sir! You truly are better than the rest of us!