20 Comments
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Lee Bacon's avatar

Some might say this was overly harsh. I, personally, feel that you didn’t go far enough. They’ll never know the gravity of their mistake until you visit their homes and read this to their faces.

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Greg Nix's avatar

I like the way you think.

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MaryBeth Lathrop's avatar

Happy to be here, Greg, my smiles and chortles give it away every time. Also, somehow I missed the roast of the swing states previously but loved it this morning.

--Wisconsinite

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Greg Nix's avatar

Tell your neighbors to shape up!

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Robin Darling's avatar

the new chortle! still funny, tighter, and pettier than ever!!!

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Greg Nix's avatar

Turns out you didn’t need to threaten divorce after all!

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Sara Castaneda's avatar

I agree wholeheartedly. What is life without humor? What is news without the truth? That's what you get here at Chortle...a twofer!

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Greg Nix's avatar

I might have to quote you on this!

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Sara Castaneda's avatar

Please do!

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Jennifer's avatar

Okay I will own up to the fact that I clicked the "pale little butt" link, but I was rewarded by getting to watch your Oscars plea again. I'm here to recommend Drew Magary's "The Hike" to you. I think you'd like it.

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Greg Nix's avatar

I am LITERALLY reading that book right now! I’m like 80 pages from the end.

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Jennifer's avatar

Haha! Okay I won't spoil it. Let me know how you like the ending when you get there!

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Christopher Manson's avatar

Let those resentments go, Brother.

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Greg Nix's avatar

That’s it, you’re going on the list.

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Ralph Gamelli's avatar

This is why I never unsubscribed from Highlights magazine. They've been waiting more than 30 years to tear into me. I just know it.

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Greg Nix's avatar

This is how you know you’re a Gallant, not a Goofus.

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Carol Jourdan's avatar

Not sure why anyone would want to cancel their subscription! I’m a lifelong supporter and have been since I met you! You are so funny and entertaining! Love your humor and I hope you will continue for years to come!! 💙💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Greg Nix's avatar

I appreciate the support, Carol!

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Neil Weiner's avatar

Lee Bacon is a kindred soul. And really—why should we be any less divisive than the population we so lovingly embraced today.? Why should we be magnanimous when the country is enthusiastically setting itself on fire? Why should we do anything but fiddle while chortle almost burns?

As a designated Oligarch, I feel liberated—nay, obligated—to pontificate, obfuscate, and roller-skate my opinions straight into the rink of controversy, helmet optional. I will gesture broadly, cite nothing, and speak with the confidence of someone who has never once been fact-checked by reality.

And now, having sown confusion, stirred outrage, and possibly pulled a hamstring, I pause, breathe deeply, clasp my hands, and offer this:

Om Shanti.

May peace be with all—especially after whatever that was.

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Greg Nix's avatar

Thank you for descending from the (privately owned) mountaintop and sharing this wisdom, sir! You truly are better than the rest of us!

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