6 Candidates to Replace Kash Patel as FBI Director

Based on one key qualification.

Last week, The Atlantic reported that FBI Director Kash Patel may be on the outs, in part due to bouts of excessive drinking in front of White House staff and incidents in which members of his security detail had difficulty waking him from hangovers. Patel has denied the allegations and filed a $250 million defamation lawsuit, but expectations remain that he will soon follow his fellow Trump appointees Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi out the door.

What might the White House be looking for in a replacement? Based on Patel’s qualifications — as well as those of other cabinet members like Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and recently resigned Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer — Chortle has created a shortlist of possible future FBI Directors.

Here are six candidates to know.

Lauren Boebert

A loyal Trump ally who may be ready to exit Congress after several bruising elections, Boebert checks some of the boxes. In 2023, she was escorted out of a Denver performance of Beetlejuice after vaping on a pregnant woman, groping her date, and asking theater security if they knew who she was. These are promising indicators. However, the administration has set a high bar for the position — specifically, a liquid one — and the fact that Boebert's most publicized incident of intoxication didn’t involve alcohol may give the president pause.

Mel Gibson

The widely disgraced movie star would be an unconventional choice — but Trump is an unconventional president. Gibson's experience in law enforcement (Lethal Weapon), the military (Braveheart), and pro-America propaganda (Chicken Run) makes him comparatively qualified for a Trump cabinet post. His 2006 DUI and subsequent anti-Semitic tirade demonstrate a commitment to the lifestyle that has characterized this administration. But the tirade itself may be disqualifying, simply because Gibson did not get drunk enough to pass out.

Tipsy O’Malley III (R-FL)