16 Comments
User's avatar
Rebeca's avatar

"it caught me off guard because we’ve only been doing this for nine months" - 😂 This whole thing is so brilliant!

Robin Darling's avatar

this was the one for me, too. it surprises my child daily that we need to go to daycare.

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

Right? That one was inspired by my youngest. I swear every day for a year she acted like daycare was totally new information.

Sara's avatar

Assholes, the lot of ‘em! Hilarious. Especially the crusty old hooker ☠️

Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Lindsey, this is the most brilliant thing I ever read! Please promise me you’ll do more of these! 🤣🤣🤣

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

Haha thanks- I am so obsessed with this Reddit thread so it was fun to think of a toddler version! Which aren’t even that much of an exaggeration in the end, let’s be honest 🤣

Patrick Eades's avatar

I can let the other stuff slide (on a good day) but the surfboard shit is asshole 101. Surfboards should be cared for with ice baths.

This was excellent!

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

I couldn’t agree more! That’s the #1 asshole move for sure. Will have to try out the ice bath next time!

Katelyn Cnossen's avatar

I was using legos as a brass knuckle HAHA! And there’s no more padding there 🫠

Lee Bacon's avatar

My 3yo just wrote in with a new submission:

AITA for dumping a bowl of strawberries on my daddies head when he was just trying to check his emails?

Am I the asshole?

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

100% the dad ITA, of course!

Alter Kacker's avatar

AITA for making progress on my potty training? OK, it was during Mommy and Me swim class at the Y, and I mistook the pool for the toilet. But that was an understandable confusion -- it's a big basin filled with water, right? And I'm just a toddler, right? You'd think those folks would give me credit for trying, right?

(You'd be wrong.)

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

Ooh I’m all-too-familiar with this one. Of course you’re not the AH! It’s the mean mean Mommy who made you go into that cold pool in the first place- how dare she?!

Jim McKee's avatar

Dear Not-Normal, your material is so good that I am going to strip-mine your posts for humor and try to pass it off as my own. You are welcome to return the favor beginning with https://clarkaardvark.substack.com/p/tiktok-finds-a-clue-40 You may find it a slender harvest, but you never know. Humorists, like gardeners, should cross-breed their varieties to get a hardy hybrid. Stan Laurel (the British comic actor) was a relative unknown until he met Oliver Hardy (an American, equally unknown) and they teamed up to make comedy gold. May you stay forever young. Cheers--Jim McKee

Daniel Puzzo's avatar

I nearly pissed myself with the crusty old hooker line 🤣

The Messy Millennial's avatar

Hilarious! Well done Lindsey! I got no kids so I am of course the asshole in usually most situations