<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:news="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-news/0.9"><url><loc>https://www.chortle.blog/p/early-to-bed-early-to-rise-benjamin-franklin-humor</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Chortle</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-07-09T10:01:32+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>I Am Early to Bed and Early to Rise, But I Am Not Healthy, Wealthy, Nor Wise</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.chortle.blog/p/gerrymandering-solution-congressional-district-every-person-modest-proposal</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Chortle</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-07-08T10:01:49+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Just Draw a Congressional District Around Each Person</news:title></news:news></url></urlset>