This round of submissions has ended. The next round will open in March/April 2026. If you want to stay informed about Chortle submissions, sign up for our writing list by clicking the button below and entering your email address.

Sign up for writing announcements

(FYI: This is a different list than our normal emails!)

February 2026 Submissions!

Hey, funny people! I’m Greg, the founder and editor of Chortle. We’re seeking short humor submissions about love, dating, and romance (or a lack thereof) to publish during the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. Accepted pieces pay $100.

Keep reading to see the full submission guidelines and a link to the submission form…

Thanks to our friends at Freelance Opportunities!

Freelance Opportunities! is a biweekly newsletter curating legitimate paid opportunities for writers, designers, social media managers, PR professionals, journalists, creators, developers, videographers, and photographers.

I can personally vouch for its founder, Kaitlyn, as an honest operator in a world of scammers… Subscribe now, so that she can help you find a job!

Subscribe to Freelance Opportunities!

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES

Deadline:

This round of submissions is due by Friday, February 6th. Responses will go out by February 13th at the latest.

Payment:

Accepted pieces pay $100. Writers retain future ownership of their work.

The Basics:

• We’re seeking short humor pieces (700 words or fewer) with a funny, unique POV on romance, dating, love, or relationships.

• Short humor means we’re generally open to satire, parody, lists, fake articles, absurdist pieces, and other formats you might see in McSweeney’s or The New Yorker’s Shouts and Murmurs section.

• Generally speaking, we DO NOT publish personal essays or short fiction.

• Pieces should be previously unpublished, including on personal newsletters/blogs.

• Comics and other multimedia formats are welcome for consideration.

• Please do not submit multiple pieces.

• Before you submit, I highly suggest you read some of our most popular posts to get a sense of our readers’ tastes.

Tips for a Strong Submission:

• Your comedic premise should be clear within the first paragraph.

• The piece should build and escalate throughout.

• Keep it tightly written without extra fluff.

• Show off a unique voice or perspective.

Common Mistakes I See:

• The piece has no clear focus.

• There aren’t enough jokes.

• It requires extensive setup to reach the funny part.

• It covers well-worn topics or points of view.

• It consists mostly of dialogue and/or is written like a script.

Do you want feedback on your writing?

I frequently get asked to provide feedback on submissions, and I can’t respond to everyone. But if you’re a paid Chortle subscriber, I’m happy to provide notes on your piece—there’s a place to request them on the submission form.1 (New readers/writers are also welcome to take advantage of this offer by upgrading their subscription.)

Subscribe now

QUESTIONS?

Feel free to email me directly at greg@chortle.blog or leave a comment on this post.2

Leave a comment

Share

I started Chortle because I wanted one place on the internet that’s just there to be funny—not trying to fix anything, not trying to be important, just trying to make you laugh for five minutes.

But creating a place like that, like everything else in life, costs money. Most of our posts are free to read, but they all take time and energy to write. We also pay every single person who contributes, because I believe writers deserve to get paid.

The best reason to become a paid subscriber is simple: you want a few more laughs each week, and you’re willing to chip in to make that happen.

Subscribe now

Paid Subscriber Benefits

Here’s everything you get by upgrading to a paid subscription for just $7/month:

• A funny, original piece of comedy delivered to your inbox three time per week.

• Archival access to over 400 past posts from 70+ comedy writers.

• Request-a-topic: ask us to write a post about something, and we shall deliver!

• Discounts on Chortle merch.

• Good breath for the rest of your life. (Results not guaranteed.)

Subscribe now

If you would like to be notified when they reopen, sign up for our writers list by clicking the button below. (Please note this is a different list from our regular newsletter.)

Sign Up For Writing Emails

HELLO FUNNY PEOPLE!

I'm Greg, the founder and editor of Chortle.

We publish short humor pieces three times a week, including paid pieces from guest contributors. We have recently revised our submission process and now accept work on requested topics via submissions every 1-2 months.

Click the button below to receive an email update when the next submission period opens.

Sign Up For Writing Emails

To get a sense of what I’m looking for, I highly recommend reading some of our previous work before submitting. We’ve published over 400 posts from 70+ writers—check out our most popular posts and previous guest posts to see what lands.

You can also subscribe for free using the button below, or help us publish more work by becoming a paid subscriber.

Subscribe now

FAQ

What is Chortle?

I answer that question right here.

What kind of work do we publish?

• Short humor.

• We can only consider completed work (no pitches).

• We’re unable to consider previously published work (including personal Substacks).

• Comics and other multimedia are welcome.

Pieces We Like…

• …have a clean comedic premise that is clear within the first paragraph.

• …build and escalate throughout.

• …are tightly written without extra fluff.

• …show off a unique voice or perspective.

Pieces We Don’t Like…

• …have no clear focus.

• …do not have enough jokes.

• …require extensive setup to reach the funny part.

• …cover well-worn topics or points of view.

• …consist mostly of dialogue and/or are written like a script.

Resources

If you’re looking for ways to improve your humor writing, here are several resources that I’ve found helpful:

• of is a former editor of The Onion, and has written several books on humor writing—including the elegantly title How to Write Funny.

• Writer has a helpful newsletter called and also put together a great (free!) PDF called The Ultimate Humor Writing Cheat Sheet.

• ’s newsletter is full of great advice and submission opportunities.

• McSweeney’s Submission Guidelines include a good general overview of things to think about when submitting humor pieces. It also includes helpful links like this and this.

Questions? Comments?

Feel free to email me directly.

Email Greg